it snuck up on me. the anniversary reaction.

this time last year we were lying in bed. it was a sunny morning and i checked my email while you slept. or pretended to sleep. it was towards the end of that period on my life when i knew i had everything but also know i would soon lose a very big part of it.

she wrote about the funeral services and life thereafter. some days she buys fresh produce. has afternoon tea with friends. some days she grieves the loss of him deeply and allows herself to feel “sad, sad, sad.”

life is so goddamn short.

i cried and cried on my pillow. silent tears–you woke long after they were gone. and still, i forgave and admired and needed you.

i didn’t want to feel all those feels again when i saw you one year later.


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